Story # 3

Name: Khadijah/ One Chinese muslimah
Former religion:  Christian/ Buddhist

Prior to Islam, I had been leading much of a self destructive life. If it weren't for Islam, I would probably be the result of my own demise. My priorities were gym, clubbing, & socializing (online, coffee shops, malls, restaurants, & anywhere I could meet random people). There was no religion in my life and I had completely left off any inner spirituality that I once used to have. I was THE last person to ever talk about religion, think about God, or even know what the term 'salvation' meant. Religion was a big whopping ZERO in my life and God was nowhere to be found.
I never questioned my existence or where I came from. My ignorance was at it's ultimate finest, not to mention my pride and arrogance too. I spoke with swear words, I didn't filter my words and undeniably THE most UN-lady like 'lady'.
Life to me was nothing but a joke, a vicious cycle, and a waste of time.

All I cared about was fashion, parties, and everything else that girls think about in their early to mid 20's. As I matured the less substance I would have in me. I was shallow and harsh and everything had to revolve around me, myself, and I. I had to always be the "life of the party." Well, I tried anyway. As much confidence as I seemed to have, the less self esteem I had. Is that contradicting? I seemed one way externally but I always felt another way internally. Externally, I was fearless, 'free-spirited', 'the boss', funny, loud, rude, and obnoxious. But internally, I was crying for help, sad, depressed, and in despair. I lived a life full of lies. The weekends were what I looked forward to the most because that was when I could go out and party all my problems away. I drowned my sorrows with harmful intoxicants and reckless behavior. It was my way out, my only hope, my only way for seeking happiness. I look back now and reflect on the individual that I used to be. The individual I once was without Islam.

I considered myself to be "the life of the party".. but really who was I? I was someone with a lost identity. Trying to search high and low, days on end, in the clubs, in the restaurants, in the gyms, in the malls, and in all the meaningless relationships. I never found what I was looking for. I thought that fashion would define me, and that the more beautiful you were, the more you have to offer. I was consumed by the media. The television became my dictator and it told me I wasn't thin enough, pretty enough, smart enough, and good enough. The songs I listened to, told me that heartbreaks last forever, that sadness never leaves you, and that life without love was nothing but emptiness. The magazines told me how to dress, where to shop, and what to buy. The world was consuming me and I was letting it. The shallow world was taking over and my identity would just get more and more lost. The life of this world was eating me up and I started to suffocate. After the parties and all the glitzy glam, I felt nothing but emptiness. After all that deafening music from the clubs and the pounding headache the next morning, I felt bored. After all that effort spent beautifying myself, and for who? I felt worthless. Nobody cared about who I was or what my name was, they just wanted to know where I got my purse or my shoes from. The people of this world started to become clear to me. They were nothing but materialistic consumer slaves of society...
Their routine was, wake up, gym, go to work, make money, go home, eat, get drunk, party, wake up , go to gym, go to work, make money, go home, eat, go to the gym, get drunk, party, wake up, work, eat, sleep, make money... No matter WHAT order the routine was in, it never changed. Had I become just like them? Was this really the identity that I was going to settle with for the rest of my life? I did not know. I started to fall into more and more into darkness.

I seem to really have a bitter outlook on life and I trusted no one. I was always used to using people and all I ever did was take, take, take and never did I once give. My selfishness overpowered me and being "the life of the party" became a chore. I felt like I had an expectation to live up to. A moral-less, self degrading, party, 'wild' child image who was out of control and rebellious. Deep down, I knew this wasn't really who I was.

It was because I felt I had to always be competing with girls prettier than me, with bigger breasts, with longer hair, who were thinner, who were richer, who had bigger eyes than I and for any other materialistic reasons I could think of. It was just too much work and too hard to compete with.Was this really what the purpose of life was? I thought, well if I went back to school and got a solid career, what happens after? Same routine? make money, work, eat, sleep, gym, party, make money, work, eat ,sleep, gym, make money, pay bills, have kids, work, eat , sleep, gym, feed kids, work, eat... Another vicious cycle ? Where does it stop? Are we just all robots and machines that are controlled by the media and the society we live in? Is this truly our purpose in life?

Well, let me tell you,

The "life of the party" does not exist.
The girl you see on television with the perfect skin and the shiny hair? She isn't real. Her face has been airbrushed one too many times, she has acne scars in reality and she is just as normal as you. She eats, sleeps, goes to school, drinks, parties, makes money, and does the same thing over and over.
The girl in the magazine? Same deal. She is airbrushed with the magical Photo-Shop over and over again. She is probably more depressed than you are and wishes her life was more than just looking half naked in magazines and told to dress a certain way. She is oppressed and is brainwashed into thinking she is happy. This is the same with any celebrity, talk-show host, princess (Ameerah of Saudi *rolls eyes*), singers, Oprah Winfrey, Kim Kardashian, the hijabi blogger who thinks she's "got it covered", and any other money, fame, wealth, dunya chasing female you see striving to attain status in this worldly life. Subhana'Allah...

Anyone who thinks that these women are happy, they need a reality check and to stop being so naive. Hate to burst your bubble sisters, but their fantasy land, is non-existent. The media makes you see what you want to see. Behind the scenes, it is a totally different dark world. A world full of drug abuse, full of immoral acts, a world full of shaitan worshippers. What a sad life this is.
You think you're depressed?
Try being one (ok, DON'T ever..but just saying) of these Barbie dolls for one or two days and I guarantee you, you would never again barter your religion for a lowly price just to "fit in" into society.
The Barbie doll in her plastic cardboard box, dressed to impress and many eyeing her and wishing she was in their hands to play with. After being purchased she is nothing but another toy on the ground, tossed around with and stepped on all over. So you still want to be the "life of the party"? 

If this analogy doesn't make you think about your blessings of Islam and remind you of just how Merciful Allah the Almighty is, then we all really need to step back for just one second and take some time out to ourselves and isolate ourselves and question our existence and what exactly do we expect the society, the boyfriend, the fashion magazines, the alcohol, the parties, the drugs, the no-hijab, the hijabi bloggers, the makeup, the Shaitan followers to provide for us? 

What kind of satisfaction and pleasure will THEY provide for us that ALLAH SUBHANAHU WA TA A'LA can't provide for us???? 

What kind of protection will they provide for us that Allah, The ALMIGHTY can't provide for us?! 

What kind of peace and serenity can THEY give to our hearts that ALLAH THE MOST HIGH can't give us??

Will they feed us or clothe us when we have no money? Will they call us on the phone to talk to us about our problems? Will they all help bring us closer to Allah? They probably don't even know who you are!!

Will these fashion models, movies stars, Princes Ameerahs' (from Saudi), hijabi bloggers, non-hijabi's, boyfriends, parties, Shaitan followers intercede on our behalf on The Day of Judgement? If you answered "no" to most of these questions, then you are one step closer to closing the door to your desires and lusts, and repenting to Allah insha'Allah. 

REMEMBER THIS MUCH :

"Allah is He Who created the heavens and the earth and everything between them in six days and then established Himself firmly upon the throne. You have no protector or intercessor apart from Him, So will you not pay heed?" (Qur'an 32:4)

{The Trumpet is blown and those in the heavens and those in the earth swoon away, except those Allah wills. Then it is blown a second time and at once they stand upright, looking on. And the earth shines with the Pure Light of its Lord; the Book is put in place; the Prophets and witnesses are brought; it is decided between them with the truth; and they are not wronged. Every self is repaid in full for what it did. He knows best what they are doing.}
(Az-Zumar 39:68-70)

{And the True Promise is very close, the eyes of those who were unbelievers will be transfixed: "Alas for us! We were unmindful of this! No, rather we were definitely wrongdoers.} (Al-Anbiyaa’ 21: 97)

“An unbeliever will be brought on the Day of Resurrection and will be asked. 'Suppose you had as much as gold as to fill the earth, would you offer it to ransom yourself?' He will reply: 'Yes'. Then it will be said to him, 'You were asked for something easier than that [to join none in worship with Allah (i.e., to accept Islam, but you refused)]." (Al-Bukhari)

{The Day when a wrongdoer will bite his hands and say, "Alas for me! If only I had gone the way of the Messenger! Alas for me! If only I had not taken so-and-so for a friend! He led me astray from the Reminder after it came to me." Evil always leaves man in the lurch.} (Al-Furqan 25: 27-29)

{When the Deafening Blast comes, the Day a man will flee from his brother and his mother and his father, and his wife and his children: on that Day every man among them will have concerns enough of his own.} (`Abasa 50: 33-37)

As we can see here, there is no joke about The Day of Judgement, for Allah explains it loud and more than clear. Shall we then not fear Allah? Will we truly benefit from fearing the creation rather than the ONE TRUE CREATOR? 
If we think that all our worldly desires and our lusts are more important than submitting to the One who OWNS THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT...then we are in big trouble. 

Remember, the "life of the party" is non-existent and even if you want to experiment and see for yourself what it's like, I warn you that this lifestyle is only for the one with the black heart and weakened soul. If you know deep down that this is not the truth to happiness, I encourage you to stay as far away as possible. Do not gamble your life and your religion just to test out the cheap, used, goods of the dirty shaitan (devil) for he continues to recycles his tools and uses them on new prey each and every day. Do not fall into this trap like I once did. Do not think that this worldly life won't bear witness upon every single action that you did and you won't be held accountable. 
Repent to Allah, before He takes your life while your submitting to shaitan rather than to Allah. 
Fear the Day and fear for your life, because when death creeps up on you, there sure won't be anything to party about. 

Allah, the Most High says:
“And turn in repentance and in obedience with true Faith (Islamic Monotheism) to your Lord and submit to Him, (in Islam), before the torment comes upon you, then you will not be helped. And follow the best of that which is sent down to you from your Lord (i.e. this Qur’aan, do what it orders you to do and keep away from what it forbids), before the torment comes on you suddenly while you perceive not! Lest a person should say: ‘Alas, my grief that I was undutiful to Allaah (i.e. I have not done what Allah has ordered me to do), and I was indeed among those who mocked [at the truth!' i.e. La ilaha ill-Allah (none has the right to be worshipped but Allah), the Qur'aan, and Muhammad and at the faithful believers, etc.] Or (lest) he should say: ‘If only Allah had guided me, I should indeed have been among the Muttaqûn (pious and righteous people)’. Or (lest) he should say when he sees the torment: ‘If only I had another chance (to return to the world) then I should indeed be among the Muhsinûn (good-doers).’”[Az-Zumar : 54-58]

To the non-Muslims who have stumbled upon my blog. If you want to learn more about Islam, learn it from the correct sources and not what the media feeds you. Had I continued to follow only what the media said about Islam and continued to drown in my ignorant world, I would have never discovered the beautiful truth and serenity about Islam. Suck up that pride for one second, and open your mind and heart to reading more and learning about this religion. I guarantee you, you will not be left empty-handed. Islam is a perfect religion, Muslims are far from perfect. Go to the divine revelation from the One True Creator. 

In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
  Say: He is Allah, the One and Only!
   Allah, the Eternal, Absolute;
  He begetteth not nor is He begotten.
  And there is none like unto Him.

(112:1-4)

Taken from: OneChineseMuslimah